I just can't stop but to feel worthless.
对不起。

Labels: cries, help me

Went Top 1 KTV with my Ocean Butterfly classmates! Its darn fun! But i think a bit not worth to go in such a big group because I didn't get to sing my list of Zhang Hui Mei's songs!!

I spent:

• $33.40 on cab altogether
• $31.50 on dinner
• $12.70 on ice cream

Why am I always with abundance when I don't feel well?
Such a waste of money
but I can't stop spending.

Labels: cries, help me, love, Ocean Butterfly, singing, vent

I'm super speechless because there's so much things that's in my heart. There's just so many areas that I saw. There's just so many not ordinary experiences.

I can't even be truthful to myself, what's more to you.

Lord, I'm sorry.
I know that I have to go through this in order for you to use me.
Take all of me.

I SURRENDER ALL

TRUE WORSHIPPER Key: E

Worship

THANK YOU FOR THE CROSS THAT YOU HAVE PAID FOR ALL MY SINS YOU'VE SACRIFICED YOURSELF I AM NOTHING LORD WITHOUT YOUR GRACE YOU WERE THERE TO LIFT ME WHEN I FAILED AS I LIFT MY HANDS POUR YOUR MERCY O GOD I'M LONGING FOR YOUR PRESENCE NOW AS I LIFT MY HANDS POUR YOUR MERCY O GOD I'M LONGING FOR YOUR PRESENCE NOW I SURRENDER ALL AND I WILL FOLLOW YOU I SURRENDER ALL AND BRING MY LIFE TO YOU I SURRENDER ALL AND LIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU I SURRENDER ALL, I SURRENDER ALL (TO YOU JESUS)

Labels: cries, feared, help me, prayer, sigh

傻了
傻了

I just can't master 傻瓜. What am I gonna do?
I just can't get the right position to sing this song.
OMG!

Labels: help me, singing

I knew some things were just impossible but I still had hope in it.
I know nothing but I still accept and believe it.
There's just other side which I don't wish to think and believe.
But if its so, so be it.

You never explain, I wouldn't know.

Labels: help me, oppressed, sigh

I really don't know how long can I last. Exams have really been stressful plus many many other things. God, I do not want to lead a simple life but I really don't know what else I can do. After some time, i really can't find my heart anymore. Bitterness just begin to develop within me. Bitter about exams, about people, about friends, about myself, about cg, about God, about school, about studies, about everything.
I can't, I can't do well in anything. I can only face it myself.

And I just hope my insomnia stop tonight.

Labels: cries, help me, prayer, sigh, Spiritual

Its been a long week.
Aspire aspire and aspire. study study study...
Went for CGM yesterday as usual at Kexin's place.
Its been a long time since we have cg. hahhaha.
Good word, good pressence.
Oh God, teach me how to love, teach me how to accept, teach me how to inspire.
I need motivaton.

I'm going out now.
Today is FRIDAY. I'm having Vocals later!! yeah!!! hahahah!!!

Labels: cg, daily, help me, Ocean Butterfly, singing, ycss

I don't. I don't.
I shouldn't. I shouldn't.
I mustn't. I mustn't.
I used to be able to control my emotions and feelings alot.
Looks like, I'm being over sensitive recently.
Stop it. Stop it.
Oh God, take it away.
You know I can't handle it.
It makes me cry to think of it. Though its quite silly.

Labels: church, cries, feared, help me, roberted, strange, wierd

Alright, one last post about it.

Well, if you think that some things don't have to tell me, I'm fine.
But you lied when I ask.
You told some others, not me.
And well, I just don't understand what's about being so secretive.

You used to pissed me off like nobody does.
Alot of times, I tell myself "ok, enough. I'm not gonna care."
But afterthat I'll tell myself "If I don't care, who will care?"
After 1 year, there were so many times I wanted to give, but I didn't.
Because I really treat you as a friend
Because I really care.

But this time, I really don't know what to say.
You don't want to explain anything to me
You don't want to reply my messages
(Yet, you are able to reply others)

I ever said if you want to lie, make sure I don't know.
Are you not used to me?
Or too used to me?

What does sorry mean?

Labels: cries, emo, friends, help me

Well, I won't let my new year be an unpleasant one this year!
Not because of you.
I made up my mind to move on.
Go ahead with what you want then.
I won't interfere.
Not any thing.

If you're not appreciative
then get lost.
If you think I have so much time to be a busybody
then shut up and stop complaining.
If you don't treat me like how a friend should be
then why should I?

And please shut up if you don't know any thing!
How much do you understand?!

Labels: cries, emo, friends, help me, pissed

What?
How?
When?
Where?
I know who ... Jesus

haiz ...
I hope I don't know anything about it.

Labels: cries, emo, help me