i shan't blog about halloween last night.
it is basically.
happening, eventful, frightening, tiring.

i'm just feeling super fucked up now.
i really hate people who assume things.
i hate people who don't know anything then anyhow think, anyhow say.
you can blame me for hiding things.
but why i want to hide?
because whenever i tell you, you spread around.
not only that.
when i tell you things, you only know how to disagree.
and you don't even talk reasonably.
i'm someone who i don't like to say things.
but you're someone who say everything.
how do you expect me to tell you.
i definitely know that i am in the wrong in certain ways and reaction.
but i'm reacting like this because of the way you respond.
i'm so pissed yet i'm so sad.
i'm so sad because i was so pissed but yet i refused to argue/quarrel with you.
but you continued saying saying and saying.
and the things i go through since young, you'll never understand.
i never blame anyone. because this is my life.
the only thing i can do is to look forward.
and i will strive hard to prove all of you wrong.

there's so many things i wished i could say.
but i cannot.
maybe if one fine day when i really cannot tolerate, i will burst out everything and throw you back with all the questions?

but at the end of the day, i'll only be blamed.
nobody will say is your fault.
people will only say is my fault.
so why do i bother saying out?