I seem to have problems expressing frustrations these days. Being so frustration but I just can't bring myself to express it out. Its a good thing because it shows that I am responding the right way by accepting things that frustrates me. However, this feels so terrible because everytime when I am frustrated with certain issues, I kept to myself. And after awhile, I'll just forget about it and move on. I'm not sure this is right or wrong. It sounds right, but it feel so wrong. The fact is, this cannot continue for long. Because man has emotions and it would only make me feel more terrible the way I am. Not that I want to throw tantrum or vent my frustrations but the problem is even if I've forgotten that issue and matter, the feeling hasn't go off. It is still there. Therefore I think I need to start ranting HERE!!!!!

and when its accumulated so much, you just want to forget it. let it go then.. So much so that I don't feel like writing but I know I need to let go somewhere.

pissed with the yayapapaya girl... so cocky nvm, but also not very good. I'm not trying to say that I'm better than her. but to me, I don't even want to bother about her wanting to win me or compete with me. I don't give a damn at ALL!! The matter of fact is that if she's really that good, then be an independent individual then. Always give that stupid expression that everyone owes you.. hey come on, you're here to learn things.. not being spoon fed. People protect you just because you are new.. don't take things for granted... no matter what kind of result you produce, I still don't think you are good because you don't have a good personality.

and then after complaining, Its just seemed like I'm jealous of her because she is good. Although I know I don't because I never thought she is good. and if I really want to do it, nobody can stop me. but that's also the reason why I refused to complain about her.. because I don't want people think that I'm jealous.. so I try my best to be very nice and communicate with how and in the end I realised I'm not the only one who can't communicate with her.. basically, everyone. Anyways, all the best then.. she'll will do well elsewhere. Just not here.. Anyway, actually.. this person has left... hahahaha..

I want to do alot of self reflections on myself but I realised, I'm so not myself anymore... therefore I have no idea my own response.I hate this but I remained silent no matter where I go. Be it if people agree or disagree with me. let them win... I just don't have energy to fight with them. Where has my energy gone to? where has my principles gone to? the shyrlyn who embrace her principles and stood strong in her beliefs is gone..

Shyrlyn only have all the self doubts and all the disbelief in her. I think I don't need to be positive. Because I try too hard. I probably just need a mean for me to let this all out and go. and start believing in what others say you can do instead of the disbeliefs. and everyday, bell and gongs to me seem to far ..............................