I so cannot post anything on fb now. Because of pride or whatever stuff. I just don't feel like telling anyone my true feelings because of whatever that had happened to me.

Even if I know that it is out of impulse, I tried so hard to think, if I had a second chance, I would make the same decision. Not that I really mean it but somehow, I just want to say it at that point. Like me always, I never regret what I do. But the point is, I totally got no idea why am I doing this. Like the whole point, it wasn't just the usual self.

So, I'll leave this to fate because I have no idea what is happening. We'll just take time to see if this would be a test or the outcome. I shall take awhile to observe before moving on.

Its just part and parcel of life. But I still need to cry under my blanket. Hahahaa.. Actually I just kept tearing the whole day today whenever I'm alone. Because where ever I go, I'm always reminded of him. I can always see his shadow everywhere. I didn't want to believe he affects me so much. Since we got together not because one of us fell for the other.

I guess I'll feel so much better after writing this. And if anyone is reading this, please don't expose me.

I don't like to quarrel because after some fucking incident that land me in hospital, I became not that able to express myself. So end up, I'll just cry for 2 hours and forget it. I'm being like a kid I admit. But life is too stressful to keep up with the adults. I only hope that after work, I'll be taken care like a kid. And yes, I successfully behaving like a kid whenever I'm with him. So, I'm quite thankful to have him.

Now I know how much he mean to me. But if he thinks that life would be better without me, then I'll move on. At least I know how I feel now.

I didn't know since when I became a cry baby.. Hahhahaha!
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.