I haven't been thinking much these days. I think I quite sick of the busy life or rather keeping myself busy life. I know I need to move to find motivation and desire to do anything. But it has come to a point that I just feel like not moving. I just feel like staying here and enjoy being taken care of and not care about anything. Don't think of money. Its not the first time that bad things happen to me. In fact, it happen all the time and I'm already used to it especially when it comes to friend(s). So, actually I'm not really feeling anything. So much that I wanted to express my frustrations, my left brain tells me there's nothing I can express. Scold, I also don't know what to scold. Its more like a norm actually. I should have expected long ago because it always happen. Not that I think highly of myself, but I refuse to think that the problem lies with me . I can only say people has different points of view and I can't expect people to appreciate me. However, I am still gonna change because its time I wake up my idea and (don't have to choose friends wisely) just protect yourself from from your own interest. Its so not me but I don't have a choice because (i just told Sam just now) "its not about what you want in life, its about how you accept and face reality." Desire will not bring you anywhere if you can't be realistic in facing the ugly world. I'm not being pessimistic about life, I will still strive in whatever I want but I just want to emphasize you cannot depend on anyone to see and hear for you. You need to open your eyes yourself and be cautious to protect your own interest.

Its been some time that I reflect on myself because I was too incautious. I thought everything was ok when the reality hit me. However, I'd like to appreciate that person because it really made me learn and open my eyes BIG. A lot of things happen unknowingly and when it happen, you think people will really be there for you? Look at fb, that how many friends will be there kind of bullshit. Come on, open your mouth and say Money. See who will be there? I was the naive one that always pay and lend people money. I just can't help it but to keep sympathizing with people. All the upright values that I had, I think its gone. I know speaking like this, I'll call this superficial in the past. But, you can't deny that this is fact.

At the end of the day, it still comes back to balance. How you balance the beautiful and ugly world.

I shall continue the next time when I'm feel like it. yep, short post.

hahahaha!