SHYRLYN :D
I am crazily doing stupid stuff.
I have high pitch laughter.
I can cry in 10sec.
I have a man character.
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Very early in the morning
Tuesday, November 23, 201006:31
I know its very early and I'm blogging. Because I've been idling. For your info, I've resigned and I'm so free now..
The reason why I resigned because I didn't love my job, it was super long hours, very very exhausting, I had a better offer and wanted to do my own business. Talk about business first, its not progressing because I was failed by my good friend cum partner. She didn't say anything and just went mia like this.. I went high and low, said everything I could but she apparently inhuman because she has no feelings. Because I took this step for her sake. Spent so much money for her passion. And she gave up a friend and her passion. I've got no idea what happened because she refused to tell me. But still I believe human don't have a bad nature. But they react in a wrong way due to circumstances most of the time.. So much that I want to understand her, but I think my boy is right. Although I know her for a very long time, you cannot expect people for not taking you for granted, cannot expect people for failing you. I supposed to be so so so so so pissed but I guess I'm just controlling them and keeping my cool because I really don't wish to flare. She told my friend you come back to me when she's ready.. Come on what bullshit is this.. You just don't know how much I feel like killing you.. But you mia-ed all the way.. The longer she keep me waiting, the more I think you treat me like a fool.. And I don't wanna admit being a fool by making this matter big.. I'm not sure if you'll meet a person like me in future.. But good luck. Because when I say give up, that's it.. Please wait forever for me to trust you again.. And really.. Fuck your life deep deep.. Now personal, same thing.. Fucking shit. I'm not trying to be calculative. But you've got no idea how much I spent on her.. To me money is not a problem.. So long its worth it.. But when things change, yes, I rake it up.. Because its not worth anymore. I put in so much effort.. And this is how she treat me.. I treat her better than anyone I swear. I made her so important that I skipped all my own fun to make sure she enjoy everytime we're out.. And just spend on whatever she want.. If you call this a bad friend, then good for you. Because you won't meet such person anymore. If you could just talk things out nicely in the first place, I won't react this way.. And you just spoiled your own image. Fuck. Go and die. Fucking shit.. Lastly, today is a happy day because met my boy at bugis for dinner.. Xlbxlbxlb! Hehehe... And then we walked around bugis with koi for a couple of hours.. I thought walking around will be quite bored but not with him. Cause he's damn cute.. Hahaha.. We headed to his parent's shop at marina, waited for them and then supper at holland V's crystal jade with baby's family.. Its a damn full day cause we ate damn a lot a lot that he started ranting fat die us when his mum kept stuffing us with foood!!. Hahhaa.. I like his parents very much cause they're very nice and friendly and funny. Hahaa.. (Unlike the previous one... Oops.. Shhh) hahahaha! Wait and one last thing.. That stupid spammer E is here again.. Whatever I write, its about myself and its my life.. None of your business.. And before you spam, please open your eyes and read carefully with dictionary, MORON! |
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I suck
Friday, November 05, 201001:01
Yeah, I suck. Stay away from me. I say but I don't fulfill them. I know I suck. I can't do everything. I can't do well. I won't be able to make it. hard work is so tough. the easiest thing on earth is the have talent. the hardest thing on earth is to be hardworking. you can work without talent but not without hardwork. and that stupid facebook is so stupid because I can't post so much things up there. I don't love my job. I don't have passion in it. I have no motivation. I know I always appear to be very strong. but no matter what, I am a human. I cannot be strong forever. the matter of fact is that I'm not strong at all. I'm a weakling.. I only know how to cry.... I hate this!!! >.< |
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Problems expressing frutrations
Wednesday, November 03, 201023:56
I seem to have problems expressing frustrations these days. Being so frustration but I just can't bring myself to express it out. Its a good thing because it shows that I am responding the right way by accepting things that frustrates me. However, this feels so terrible because everytime when I am frustrated with certain issues, I kept to myself. And after awhile, I'll just forget about it and move on. I'm not sure this is right or wrong. It sounds right, but it feel so wrong. The fact is, this cannot continue for long. Because man has emotions and it would only make me feel more terrible the way I am. Not that I want to throw tantrum or vent my frustrations but the problem is even if I've forgotten that issue and matter, the feeling hasn't go off. It is still there. Therefore I think I need to start ranting HERE!!!!! and when its accumulated so much, you just want to forget it. let it go then.. So much so that I don't feel like writing but I know I need to let go somewhere. pissed with the yayapapaya girl... so cocky nvm, but also not very good. I'm not trying to say that I'm better than her. but to me, I don't even want to bother about her wanting to win me or compete with me. I don't give a damn at ALL!! The matter of fact is that if she's really that good, then be an independent individual then. Always give that stupid expression that everyone owes you.. hey come on, you're here to learn things.. not being spoon fed. People protect you just because you are new.. don't take things for granted... no matter what kind of result you produce, I still don't think you are good because you don't have a good personality. and then after complaining, Its just seemed like I'm jealous of her because she is good. Although I know I don't because I never thought she is good. and if I really want to do it, nobody can stop me. but that's also the reason why I refused to complain about her.. because I don't want people think that I'm jealous.. so I try my best to be very nice and communicate with how and in the end I realised I'm not the only one who can't communicate with her.. basically, everyone. Anyways, all the best then.. she'll will do well elsewhere. Just not here.. Anyway, actually.. this person has left... hahahaha.. I want to do alot of self reflections on myself but I realised, I'm so not myself anymore... therefore I have no idea my own response.I hate this but I remained silent no matter where I go. Be it if people agree or disagree with me. let them win... I just don't have energy to fight with them. Where has my energy gone to? where has my principles gone to? the shyrlyn who embrace her principles and stood strong in her beliefs is gone.. Shyrlyn only have all the self doubts and all the disbelief in her. I think I don't need to be positive. Because I try too hard. I probably just need a mean for me to let this all out and go. and start believing in what others say you can do instead of the disbeliefs. and everyday, bell and gongs to me seem to far .............................. Last but not least my last emotion for the day..... I miss him... but I wonder how long can this be kept? how far can this go? how much more can we do? this should be a secret. hahahah... |
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