I'm seriously too bored.. I've been sleeping the whole day basically. I reached home at 7am+ this morning as I was drinking the previous night at my friend's restaurant.

High and tipsy, I'm so used to that feeling that I don't even feel it. And now, I hate the feeling of being sober. First time, in my life I felt so helpless. When so many things happened recently and I can't do anything about it. When I can't move on and feign ignorance like before. When I don't dare to face the reality and answer a lot of questions even knowing it. When I wish to cry so much but I can't. When I should get angry but I can't. When I thought turning to other people will make me feel better but it doesn't (because you made me felt it once). When I can't stop smoking and drinking even knowing that it doesn't make me feel better. When I can't sleep ever since then. When I don't think you suck but you really do! When I can't help it but to wish for the excuses. When I can't help it but willing to get hurt. When I forget every single unhappiness the moment I see you.

I feel like shit...... because you ignored me and left me hanging there not knowing the truth.

go away. go and die!!!!!!!!!