I am just feeling reluctant.
to blog, to talk, to think, to eat, to sleep.
hahahah!
ok, sound super retarded.

tomorrow is friday again.
and another week past.
i just received my timetable.
and it super slack!!!
i mean slack!
I go to school 3 hours a day, 5 days a week.
anybody has part time job to intro?
i want long term ones.
so i can work during school term.
if not i'll be darn sian and darn broke.

I was reading my past entries from previous years.
and i thought, actually the stuff i used to blog are quite interesting.
especially when it comes to criticizing people.
i actually burst out laughing to myself at McDonald's.
how retarded.
i supposed to be criticizing people but the content is totally funny.

these two days are just bored bored.
interviews and trainings and whatever.
I'm not sure whether this line suits me.
i'm not sure whether i'm in the right path.
i don't wanna waste time.
but when i was about to give up, its just something that tell me give it a try.
no harm anyway.
but, with the time i could do other things right?
no, more like i'll be sleeping at home.
I tried sharing with 2 friends.
but both discouraged me.
and i'm not gonna reveal what i'm doing unless i achieve something.
but apparently, i need alot of discernment in this.
and most people are skeptical about this.
ME TOO....
people only tell me not to waste time in this.
yes, i do agree.
but, there's alot of what ifs inside me.
to find out the answer, i have to experience it myself.
MYSELF.
what people see or they say they see or they say their friends see or they say their friend say they see or their friend's friend see or their friend's friend say they see.. etc ...
may not be true.

so i shall go and sleep now and wake up earlier tomorrow go get down with it!

Life's getting more and more dull each day.
and i've been sleeping most of the time.
i sleep, wake up, eat, watch tv, play computer.
and this routine continues.
if this continues, life's gonna be dead.
and i already feel like i'm dying.
full of boredom, no existence, no fulfillment, no achievement, no satisfaction, no commitment.
how possible can i live a life like this?

i wonder how am i able to adapt to my upcoming hectic schedule
i better enjoy now.
hahahahaha!

sorry. know i say i will blog regularly but i didn't.
its like, too long never blog and i don't really have the habit to even visit my blog.
hahahaha!

well, i shall post something which i long wanted to but had no courage to.

its nearing nov and i have left church nearly a year. since then, i knew my life would be different and simplest thing like singing on stage which i used to think have became one of my fear. i became so unfamiliar and faithless in the things i used to have most confidence. and things in many areas just change. but i accepted this life because i made this decision. and this means i kind of feel how non-believers feel they meet christians.

but i do feel unjustified for church and some good believers. when we meet some 'bad christian', we automatically relate them to church and i often hear people say "he still say he goes to church". so if this person is a muslim, do you say "he still say he goes to mosque?" how should i put it? we are human beings and we are imperfect. the character and personality of a person is determined by its background and most importantly himself. the church can teach the best values and principles but it still depend on the person himself whether he adopt them.

and i hear people negative comments about christians and church. i do feel a little unjustified but i know certain things, we have to experience it before we understand it. and thats the reason why i refuse to argue or debate in such topic. but sometimes i don't understand why is it so unfair when is comes to church(not other religion). but to think about it, if the world can be fair, then Jesus won't be crucified on the cross.

i'm not saying i'm perfect and i don't give negative comments about christians. i know and i do admit that i do gossip or even criticise them. but i'm against the person. or rather the particular issue that happened. i don't blame it on one's church or religion. what's more i understand so much about this religion.

I believe in God because i have knowledge in it and i experienced it. Christianity is a relationship with God. It is not somebody physical that you can see nor touch. But you can feel and hear Him. throughout the pass one year, i know God is still with me, always reminding me that He's there in a more obvious and direct way than before. and i'm saying this because i experience it myself. its more true having someone by my side. of course, you can choose to believe someone who doesn't go to church. if you never been to church then how well do you know about them

I certainly love God. miss His presence. and the reason why i refuse to go to church because probably i just know that i will stay there and don't bear to leave? then why leave? i have no idea. I'm just not ready to face all these yet. but i can only say, to stay with someone you love is easier or to leave someone you love is easier?
maybe i'm just someone who can only learn the hard way?

Apparently, my 同类 said that I didn't post about this so i am doing it now.
wahahah!
But first of all i want to officially announce that 我和 Regina 是同类！

Ok, I know i'm very random and i said that many times right? Well, I'm just writing it here for people who don't know lor. hahahah!
ok, whatever~ I know its crap.
wahahaha

Apparently, we were just bored and talking random stuffs and thats how the 同类 thing comes about.

Actually, I'm waiting for the photos before i blog lar.
nvm, i'll just blog first before i post photos.

Hmm, where should i start!

Well, its a super tired thing because regina and I planned almost everything.
from deciding the dates, collecting songs, editing mmo, coordinating practices (I WILL DIE), emailing, forcing people to reply emails/mass sms, brainstorming the prizes, entertaining lame emails/pm/sms, arranging camera man and many other detailssssss.

And we had real sleepless nights.
As in, nights that we really couldn't sleep because of this.

And have to bear with some people's hurtful words the day before.
but still have to continue to do the wonderful gift for the person when we all were so affected.
And I walked 4 places around serangoon that midnight just to buy glue but all never sell!
ARGH!!
hahahaha!

But after so much hardwork, I'm happy with the results and it is indeed a success!
Whoohoo~
Although the crowd its a little quiet, but I think all of us did well.

i won't go into detail about the performance itself. i shall let the photos and videos do its job.

I always believe you reap what you sow. and after so much hardwork. Our effort are not wasted. and I think we're more prepared now for other things!

ps: I'm not against anyone here. I'm only against the specific thing you do. I don't bear grudges. (:

Finally, I'm back.
Why?
cause I'm too bored. so I wanna blog.

Ok, first of all I think the event yesterday was great!
I hope we'll have more events like this! YAY!!

I was watching this Korean documentary about obsessed kids in korea.
And they said, fat cells will only grow and will not die.
So i was wondering how we burn fats?
Many of us think that fats grow only at visible parts.
But apparently, fats grow even in our body.
When we exercise, the fats we burn are the fats right under our skin which is the visible parts. but the fats inside our body are the fats that we can't see and burn.

The documentary talks about why korean kids a so fat. and result was kid watch tv too much, play computer too much. Hence, they exercise lesser and munch titbits more often. Before 20th century, there were alot of death due to lack of nutritient. but since 20th century, people suffer from illness due to obesity and gradually death.

Are we having too good life? that people die of eating too much? Korean kids and in fact kids in many places are suffering from diseases due to obesity which only affected middle aged and above in the past but now, the kids are commonly affected.
When i come about to know that i was a big baby that weigh 4kg (avg baby weigh 3.5kg), i thought i was lucky because i ran around at the playground everyday when i was young. and i was not overweight before even when i eat 5 meals a day. wahahaha!

So what now?
no. no more weight gaining plan.
i shall proceed with my diet plan instead.
i don't wanna suffer from such diseases when i die.
WAHAHAHA!