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Emotional Literal

· Uncover the hidden messages your feelings send you

· Master the seven skills to beat you bad moods

· Become emotionally fluent

First, I want to talk about breakthrough. What is breakthrough? The opposite of breakthrough is containment. Why are breakthroughs important to us? Do you wish to stay at the same level forever? Definitely not! So, if you want a breakthrough in your life, you got to go the extra mile and do the extra thing.

It will lead me to talk about visions and dreams. What is your dream? What is your passion? What is the thing that you always want to do? Plan something that you wish to do assuming that there are no obstacles. After you plan, visualize it. Get the image in your mind and focus on your ultimate goal.

I will carry on with perseverance. A lot of people cannot fulfill their goals because they are lack of determination. Don't focus on the process of how much hardships you got to go through or how hard you got to work. Focus on your goal, the results you want and the achievements you've achieved so far, applaud yourself and continue to work towards your goal.

You don't need me to tell you that in life we have ups and downs. So what can we do to minimize the negative emotions? I believe everyone at some point of time feels the following:

• Confused about what you're feeling
• Powerless to reduce the intensity or duration of your distressing feelings
• Consumed by your thoughts and feelings
• Unable to shift your unpleasant moods
• Overwhelmed trying to stay centered in a fast-paced world

Factors that you must understand

• Emotions have purpose
• Be sensitive to your emotions to understand yourself and your needs
• The emotional skills can only reduce the amount of unhappy emotions exist and decrease the distress they create
• You may not be able to change the event that happened all the time but you can affect the way you respond emotionally
• You can personalize the skills to use that works the best for you
• Be patient with yourself
• Understand that change doesn't happen overnight

The Feeling Chart

Most of our can be categorized into four types: anxiety, sadness, anger, and happiness. These are the gateway feelings because they encompass a range of related emotions that share similar characteristics and benefit from the same Emotional Tools.

You can experience gateway feelings in many different ways. You may have multiple feelings in the same category.

It is also possible to feel emotions from different categories at the same time. You could feel grief over the loss of a relationship and nervousness about now facing the future alone.

Anxiety

We all experience anxiety. Anxiety is a normal feeling. It gets your attention when there is a threat to your well-being. Certainly it's hard to ignore a pounding heart or shaking knees. Anxiety also activates your body so you'll have the energy you need to take care of yourself if there's a danger.

The Body Of Anxiety

When you feel anxious, there are usually clear signs from your body. For example:

● Racing heart ● Feeling on edge

● Tense muscles ● Shaking

● Sweating ● Shallow breathing

● Dry mouth ● Difficulty sleeping

Different people will experience different signals, but generally everything just seems to go faster (heartbeat, breathing) or feel tighter (tense muscles, clenched jaw). This is because the switch to your sympathetic nervous system has been turned on.

For many people, a familiar component of anxiety is what happens to their thoughts. A common characteristic of anxious thoughts is what-if thinking. What if I can't do this? What if it doesn't work out the way I want?

These anxious thoughts are focused on the future. That's a hallmark of anxiety: worrying thoughts are focused on the future and all that could go wrong there. They are also coupled with the belief that if things go wrong, you might not be able to handle it.

The many forms of anxiety include feeling overwhelmed, panicked, or scared, and they all have one thing in common. If you would to break anxiety down, you'd find fear at the bottom of it.

Fear can be divided into two types:

Danger fear

Creates anxiety if you feel the threat will cause harm to your physical well-being. Such a threat might be finding out you have a life-threatening illness, living in dangerous area or being stalked by someone.

Loss fear

Occurs when you are anxious about a real or imagined future loss – for instance, the loss of a job, relationship or regard from others.

It isn't just fear alone that characterizes anxiety. In most cases, it's fear coupled with a feeling you can't handle the situation causing the fear.

Anxiety = A threatening Scenario + A Belief You Can't Cope

Ask yourself, " What am I afraid of? " if you experience any symptoms of anxiety.

Sadness

There are a variety of body signs you may experience when you feel sad. As with any feeling, not everyone will experience all of these sensations:

● Tiredness ● Decreased or increased appetite

● Heaviness ● Oversleeping or insomnia

● Crying ● Tearfulness

Unlike anxiety, which is expressed in the body as a speeding-up, sadness is usually expressed physically as a slowing-down.

When you feel sad, you're likely to find your thoughts focused on the negative aspects of a situation or yourself. These thoughts often revolve around the same theme: loss. This loss could be related to an object you value, or something less tangible like a dream, the esteem of those you care about, a relationship, or time.

The loss connected to sadness comes in two forms: specific loss and collective loss.

Specific loss

It is a particular loss that triggers feelings of sadness.

Collective loss

It is a series of loses or an ongoing loss that can lead to sadness.

Ask yourself " What have I lost? " if you experience any symptoms of sadness.

Anger

The body signs connected to anger are often similar to the body sensations of anxiety. In most cases these signs are speeding-up and tightening sensations.

● Rapid heartbeat ● Increased energy

● Tense muscles ● Clenching Jaws

● Shaking ● Fast breathing

● Voice becomes louder ● Red face

● Crying ● Becoming hot or cold

Physically, anger is similar to anxiety in that your body gets rigid and charged up, but the accompanying mindset is different. Instead of fearful thoughts about future producing anxiety, negative thoughts about the one the person or situation you has wronged you.

Sometimes, anger can cover feelings of anxiety (fear) or sadness (loss), or both. This can occur when a violation or threat not only gets you mad but also leaves you feeling vulnerable or hurt.

The Layer Technique

What's Underneath My Anger?

What am I angry about?

Am I sad about this situation?

Am I anxious about this situation?

Ask yourself " What part of me or my belief system is being violated? "

The Seven Powered-Skills

1. Thought Shifting.

Your negative thoughts directly affect the quality and intensity of your feelings. Positive affirmations are not the answer because, for most people, they don't work. Thought shifting includes 4 steps that can help you shift your thoughts from judging to supporting.

· Become aware of your negative self-talk.

· Directly examine and challenge your negative assumptions.

· Generate new and realistic messages that you create.

· Develop your action plan.

2. Meditative Arts

The meditative arts include belly breathing, mindfulness meditation, and meditation-in-action. These powerful body-mind tools can reduce anxiety, sadness, and anger. They can also increase your happiness and optimism by transforming your thinking patterns and increasing activity in the region of your brain associated with upbeat and happy moods.

• Relaxation and breathe focus
• Relaxation and body focus

3. Communication.

The key to becoming an effective communicator is not just learning a few techniques, but also understanding what your communication style is and how it developed. When you use strategies that are consistent with your needs, you will be able to reduce anxiety, sadness, and anger.

• Begin difficult conversations without criticism.
• Use " I " statements.
• Disclose your feelings to people you trust.
• Be specific about what you want.
• Don't try to convince others you are right.
• Calm down before talking when you're angry.
• Recognizes differences in gender communications style.

4. Emotional Writing.

It's hard to believe that just writing about distressing feelings can change them, but it can. People who write about their deepest feelings in a specific way are less depressed, less anxious, and more positive about life than are those who write about trivial things.

• Use emotional writing to express and explore your feelings.
• How do I feel?
• Why does this upset me so much?
• What's the worst that could happen in this situation?
• How can I handle that?
• What would I like to see you happen?
• What things can I do to deal to with this challenge? Be specific.
• What have I learned from this experience?
• Experiment to see or throw tantrum
• Don't use emotional writing as a substitute for action,

5. Physical Movement.

Emotional exercise, movement that can shift your emotions, can take whatever form you like – walking, dancing, or yoga, just to name a few. When done in a prescribed manner, movement can be as effective as minor tranquilizer at reducing anxiety-related muscle tension. It can also create an effect in your brain similar to that of antidepressant drugs like Prozac.

• Pick a noncompetitive activity.
• Move at a moderate pace.
• Move for ten minutes or more.

6. Connection.

Feeling connected to others can decrease your sadness, anxiety, and loneliness and can even increase your self-esteem. Activities like entertaining people at your home or bowling team are the happiness equivalent of more than doubling your income.

• Talk to your partner or others who are close to you.
• Stay in touch with old friends.
• Find like-minded people
• Consider a self-help or support group
• Give to others

7. Psychotherapy.

Most people who seek for therapy report less anxiety and depression as well as better relationships than do those with similar problems who don't go to therapy. Therapy works best when you have a good relationship with your therapist, learn new skills, and are encouraged to take action.

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