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kidnapmyheart
Take me away cause falling in love ain't very far
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shut up and sit down
SHYRLYN :D
I am crazily doing stupid stuff. I have high pitch laughter. I can cry in 10sec. I have a man character.



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memories
scary flashbacks
April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 July 2010 November 2010 December 2010 March 2011 April 2011
Peaceful night
Thursday, October 30, 200819:54

If you don't know, I sleep with lamp.
I cannot sleep in darkness.
But that lamp sometimes make me don't feel like shutting my eyes.
So last night, I turned off the lamp and slept in darkness.

I was tired, my eyes were shut, but i still couldn't sleep.
for a moment, a lot of things came into my mind again.
all the negative thoughts.
the same old feeling.
the same old thoughts.
rapid heartbeat.
tears that you don't know why.

Each time, when I have a little motivation,
the same feeling will come back.

I thought it was only exam stress.
But in my heart, I know its not just that.

I really don't wish to post this but its just a little of my deepest thoughts.
you won't know how terrible it feels.

Every time I pass by a busy road,
every time i pass by a high rise building,
every time it rain heavily,
every time i cut onions in the kitchen,
every time when there is a sudden wind blow,
every time when there is sudden loud bang,
... ... ... ...

I'm sorry, there's no way I can.

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POA is easy
19:25
POA is very easy
POA is very easy
POA is very easy
POA is very easy
POA is very easy
POA is very easy
POA is very easy
POA is very easy
POA is very easy
POA is very easy

I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well

I love POA
I love POA
I love POA
I love POA
I love POA
I love POA
I love POA
I love POA
I love POA
I love POA


POA 我来了!!!

WAHAHAHA
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reflections
Wednesday, October 29, 200823:06

time to do a little self reflections of myself.
2007 VS 2008

I remember i used to do a lot of things in the past and not feeling tired.
(now, i'm so lazy in doing everything)
I remember i used to have a lot of self motivations.
I remember i used to have motivational speeches and post.
I remember being on time for dates.
(I'm never punctual and always take cab)
I remember having healthy sleeps - 11pm - 6am
( now 5am - 3pm).
I remember i look forward to everyday especially sat.
(now, i don't because by sat jiu no money alr)
I remember praying every morning from 5am - 6am. sometimes even till 8am.
I remember fasting everyweek.
I remember fasting one whole week.
I remember posting what pastor preach every week. a short one at least.
I remember having revelations everyday.
I remember doing homework everyday. a little at least.
I remember being attentive in class.
I remember being very optimistic everyday.
(now, i laugh a lot where ever i go)
wahahaha!!!
I remember reading a lot of books.
I don't remember any drama I watched..
(i'm chasing every epi now)
I remember being very enthusiastic every day, every time, every where.

and i'm so lazy to think about more that i don't remember.. maybe you do.
hahaha

There's so many things that's different now...
I'm sure you know why it is different.
I know.


time to have more self motivations
time to have more revelations

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Maths is easy
21:29
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy
Maths is very easy

I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well

I love maths
I love maths
I love maths
I love maths
I love maths
I love maths
I love maths
I love maths
I love maths
I love maths


MATHS 我来了!!!

WAHAHAHA

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Amazed
02:45
I was reading some of my older post. I'm laughing. hahaha! i feel so kiddy ... wahaha
but ... i saw amazing stuff!!!!!
I wrote everything by myself within a night.
i wrote it last year... I'm totally amazed by myself. wahaha!

Emotional Literal

· Uncover the hidden messages your feelings send you

· Master the seven skills to beat you bad moods

· Become emotionally fluent

First, I want to talk about breakthrough. What is breakthrough? The opposite of breakthrough is containment. Why are breakthroughs important to us? Do you wish to stay at the same level forever? Definitely not! So, if you want a breakthrough in your life, you got to go the extra mile and do the extra thing.

It will lead me to talk about visions and dreams. What is your dream? What is your passion? What is the thing that you always want to do? Plan something that you wish to do assuming that there are no obstacles. After you plan, visualize it. Get the image in your mind and focus on your ultimate goal.

I will carry on with perseverance. A lot of people cannot fulfill their goals because they are lack of determination. Don't focus on the process of how much hardships you got to go through or how hard you got to work. Focus on your goal, the results you want and the achievements you've achieved so far, applaud yourself and continue to work towards your goal.

You don't need me to tell you that in life we have ups and downs. So what can we do to minimize the negative emotions? I believe everyone at some point of time feels the following:

  • Confused about what you're feeling
  • Powerless to reduce the intensity or duration of your distressing feelings
  • Consumed by your thoughts and feelings
  • Unable to shift your unpleasant moods
  • Overwhelmed trying to stay centered in a fast-paced world

Factors that you must understand

  • Emotions have purpose
  • Be sensitive to your emotions to understand yourself and your needs
  • The emotional skills can only reduce the amount of unhappy emotions exist and decrease the distress they create
  • You may not be able to change the event that happened all the time but you can affect the way you respond emotionally
  • You can personalize the skills to use that works the best for you
  • Be patient with yourself
  • Understand that change doesn't happen overnight

The Feeling Chart

Accomplished

Foolish

Needed

Tired

Accepted

Forgiving

Optimistic

Trapped

Adventurous

Fortunate

Overwhelmed

Troubled

Afraid

Fragile

Panicky

Trusted

Agitated

Frantic

Passionate

Unappreciated

Angry

Frustrated

Peaceful

Unattractive

Anxious

Fulfilled

Pessimistic

Uncertain

Appreciative

Furious

Preoccupied

Uncomfortable

Apprehensive

Glad

Pressured

Understood

Ashamed

Good

Proud

Uneasy

Awkward

Grateful

Provoked

Unfulfilled

Beautiful

Great

Quiet

Unique

Bored

Guilty

Recognized

Unsuccessful

Brave

Happy

Regretful

Unsure

Calm

Hateful

Rejected

Uptight

Capable

Helpless

Relaxed

Used

Cautious

Hopeful

Relieved

Uplift

Cheerful

Hopeless

Remorseful

Valuable

Cherished

Hostile

Renewed

Victimized

Comfortable

Humiliated

Resentful

Victorious

Competent

Hurt

Respected

Voracious

Concerned

Ignored

Sad

Vulnerable

Confident

Impatient

Safe

Wavering

Confused

Inadequate

Satisfied

Weak

Connected

Incompetent

Secure

Weary

Curious

Indecisive

Self-conscious

Welcome

Defeated

Inferior

Sexy

Well-balanced

Delighted

Inhibited

Shaken

Whole

Dependent

Insecure

Shocked

Wicked

Depressed

Irritated

Shy

Willing

Desirable

Isolated

Silly

Wishful

Desperate

Jealous

Special

Witty

Devastated

Joyful

Spiritual

Womanly

Devoted

Lonely

Strong

Wonderful

Disappointed

Lovable

Stubborn

Worn-out

Discouraged

Loved

Stupid

Worldly

Disgusted

Loyal

Supported

Worried

Disrespected

Lucky

Sympathetic

Worthwhile

Doubtful

Mellow

Terrified

Yearning

Embarrassed

Miserable

Thankful

Youthful

Energized

Misunderstood

Threatened

Zany

Excited

Needy

Thrilled


Most of our can be categorized into four types: anxiety, sadness, anger, and happiness. These are the gateway feelings because they encompass a range of related emotions that share similar characteristics and benefit from the same Emotional Tools.

ANXIETY

SADNESS

ANGER

HAPPINESS

Nervousness

Grief

Upset

Joy

Apprehension

Remorse

Displeasure

Elation

Dread

Loneliness

Outrage

Pleasure

Panic

Guilt

Frustration

Gratitude

Trepidation

Shame

Resentment

Relief

Insecurity

Inadequacy

Judgment

Excitement

Concern

Gloom

Exasperation

Pride

Overload

Sorrow

Annoyance

Amusement

Jealousy

Jealousy

Jealousy

Contentment

Vulnerability

Humiliation

Irritation

Love

Fright

Hurt

Bitterness

Delight

You can experience gateway feelings in many different ways. You may have multiple feelings in the same category.

It is also possible to feel emotions from different categories at the same time. You could feel grief over the loss of a relationship and nervousness about now facing the future alone.

Anxiety

We all experience anxiety. Anxiety is a normal feeling. It gets your attention when there is a threat to your well-being. Certainly it's hard to ignore a pounding heart or shaking knees. Anxiety also activates your body so you'll have the energy you need to take care of yourself if there's a danger.

The Body Of Anxiety

When you feel anxious, there are usually clear signs from your body. For example:

Racing heart Feeling on edge

Tense muscles Shaking

Sweating Shallow breathing

Dry mouth Difficulty sleeping

Different people will experience different signals, but generally everything just seems to go faster (heartbeat, breathing) or feel tighter (tense muscles, clenched jaw). This is because the switch to your sympathetic nervous system has been turned on.

For many people, a familiar component of anxiety is what happens to their thoughts. A common characteristic of anxious thoughts is what-if thinking. What if I can't do this? What if it doesn't work out the way I want?

These anxious thoughts are focused on the future. That's a hallmark of anxiety: worrying thoughts are focused on the future and all that could go wrong there. They are also coupled with the belief that if things go wrong, you might not be able to handle it.

The many forms of anxiety include feeling overwhelmed, panicked, or scared, and they all have one thing in common. If you would to break anxiety down, you'd find fear at the bottom of it.

Fear can be divided into two types:

Danger fear

Creates anxiety if you feel the threat will cause harm to your physical well-being. Such a threat might be finding out you have a life-threatening illness, living in dangerous area or being stalked by someone.

Loss fear

Occurs when you are anxious about a real or imagined future loss – for instance, the loss of a job, relationship or regard from others.

It isn't just fear alone that characterizes anxiety. In most cases, it's fear coupled with a feeling you can't handle the situation causing the fear.

Anxiety = A threatening Scenario + A Belief You Can't Cope

Ask yourself, " What am I afraid of? " if you experience any symptoms of anxiety.

Sadness

There are a variety of body signs you may experience when you feel sad. As with any feeling, not everyone will experience all of these sensations:

Tiredness Decreased or increased appetite

Heaviness Oversleeping or insomnia

Crying Tearfulness

Unlike anxiety, which is expressed in the body as a speeding-up, sadness is usually expressed physically as a slowing-down.

When you feel sad, you're likely to find your thoughts focused on the negative aspects of a situation or yourself. These thoughts often revolve around the same theme: loss. This loss could be related to an object you value, or something less tangible like a dream, the esteem of those you care about, a relationship, or time.

The loss connected to sadness comes in two forms: specific loss and collective loss.

Specific loss

It is a particular loss that triggers feelings of sadness.

Collective loss

It is a series of loses or an ongoing loss that can lead to sadness.

Ask yourself " What have I lost? " if you experience any symptoms of sadness.

Anger

The body signs connected to anger are often similar to the body sensations of anxiety. In most cases these signs are speeding-up and tightening sensations.

Rapid heartbeat Increased energy

Tense muscles Clenching Jaws

Shaking Fast breathing

Voice becomes louder Red face

Crying Becoming hot or cold

Physically, anger is similar to anxiety in that your body gets rigid and charged up, but the accompanying mindset is different. Instead of fearful thoughts about future producing anxiety, negative thoughts about the one the person or situation you has wronged you.

Sometimes, anger can cover feelings of anxiety (fear) or sadness (loss), or both. This can occur when a violation or threat not only gets you mad but also leaves you feeling vulnerable or hurt.

The Layer Technique

What's Underneath My Anger?

What am I angry about?

Am I sad about this situation?

Am I anxious about this situation?

Ask yourself " What part of me or my belief system is being violated? "

The Seven Powered-Skills

1. Thought Shifting.

Your negative thoughts directly affect the quality and intensity of your feelings. Positive affirmations are not the answer because, for most people, they don't work. Thought shifting includes 4 steps that can help you shift your thoughts from judging to supporting.

· Become aware of your negative self-talk.

· Directly examine and challenge your negative assumptions.

· Generate new and realistic messages that you create.

· Develop your action plan.

2. Meditative Arts

The meditative arts include belly breathing, mindfulness meditation, and meditation-in-action. These powerful body-mind tools can reduce anxiety, sadness, and anger. They can also increase your happiness and optimism by transforming your thinking patterns and increasing activity in the region of your brain associated with upbeat and happy moods.

  • Relaxation and breathe focus
  • Relaxation and body focus

3. Communication.

The key to becoming an effective communicator is not just learning a few techniques, but also understanding what your communication style is and how it developed. When you use strategies that are consistent with your needs, you will be able to reduce anxiety, sadness, and anger.

  • Begin difficult conversations without criticism.
  • Use " I " statements.
  • Disclose your feelings to people you trust.
  • Be specific about what you want.
  • Don't try to convince others you are right.
  • Calm down before talking when you're angry.
  • Recognizes differences in gender communications style.

4. Emotional Writing.

It's hard to believe that just writing about distressing feelings can change them, but it can. People who write about their deepest feelings in a specific way are less depressed, less anxious, and more positive about life than are those who write about trivial things.

  • Use emotional writing to express and explore your feelings.
  • How do I feel?
  • Why does this upset me so much?
  • What's the worst that could happen in this situation?
  • How can I handle that?
  • What would I like to see you happen?
  • What things can I do to deal to with this challenge? Be specific.
  • What have I learned from this experience?
  • Experiment to see or throw tantrum
  • Don't use emotional writing as a substitute for action,

5. Physical Movement.

Emotional exercise, movement that can shift your emotions, can take whatever form you like – walking, dancing, or yoga, just to name a few. When done in a prescribed manner, movement can be as effective as minor tranquilizer at reducing anxiety-related muscle tension. It can also create an effect in your brain similar to that of antidepressant drugs like Prozac.

  • Pick a noncompetitive activity.
  • Move at a moderate pace.
  • Move for ten minutes or more.

6. Connection.

Feeling connected to others can decrease your sadness, anxiety, and loneliness and can even increase your self-esteem. Activities like entertaining people at your home or bowling team are the happiness equivalent of more than doubling your income.

  • Talk to your partner or others who are close to you.
  • Stay in touch with old friends.
  • Find like-minded people
  • Consider a self-help or support group
  • Give to others

7. Psychotherapy.

Most people who seek for therapy report less anxiety and depression as well as better relationships than do those with similar problems who don't go to therapy. Therapy works best when you have a good relationship with your therapist, learn new skills, and are encouraged to take action.

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physics is easy
Tuesday, October 28, 200815:56
physics is very easy
physics is very easy
physics is very easy
physics is very easy
physics is very easy
physics is very easy
physics is very easy
physics is very easy
physics is very easy
physics is very easy

I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well
I will do very well

I love physics
I love physics
I love physics
I love physics
I love physics
I love physics
I love physics
I love physics
I love physics
I love physics


PHYSICS 我来了!!!

WAHAHAHA

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I've decided
04:32
I've decided to work extra hard for vocals!
I must!
I don't like the feeling of having the same problems over and over again.
hahaha!
After 11 nov!!!

now...
I must work extra extra extra hard for the rest of my papers...
because i have screwed one..
awww...
wahaha!

Jiayou!!!
time to regain your faith!!!

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Are you asking for more beatings?
Monday, October 27, 200805:34
you brainless ass!!!!!!!


people beat you until like that, still want to stick to him?
what does he even treat you as?
And even when our 7 years friendship is at stake, you still chose him?
Fine! then don't blame anyone that you have no friend!!!
you don't cherish it. you didn't put any effort in it.
you only know how to call me and complain about him. but you don't listen to what i say.
certain things i can understand.
But if I'm your friend, i cannot support or even let you be when i know it is so so so wrong.
it is the first time when I'm being so insistent because the situation is different.
you may just die and not knowing why. not exaggerating!
if you have brains, you'll think about it.
if not, that's it about our friendship!
why are you still thinking that rs is everything?
what can he even satisfy you?
i knew you won't listen!!
but you should just wake up!

you probably don't know how troublesome, how irritating it is to pick up phone calls that complain the same old thing. knowing that the person will never listen to you. seriously, i really don't understand that why did you even call me when you don't intend to listen to me? i now doubt if you even treat me as a friend or is it because there is no one left?

so you're telling me our 7 years friendship is so insignificant that it cannot be compared to a less than 6 months rs!

I may be very mean here. but what i say are facts! take it or leave it.
if you continue to be so stubborn, i shall say that's it!!!!!!!!

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05:12
当你真的爱一个人的时候, 你不会在乎自己多一点
就算自己受委屈, 也只想让他辛福快乐
祝福你们

相信
会更快乐

Lastly, thank you =D
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C H E M I S T R Y
Monday, October 20, 200816:48
yEAH.. i'M DONE WITH MY CHEM PAPER !!!
i THINK THE PAPER IS JUST MANAGEABLE..
nO THAT EASY, NOT THAT DIFFICULT ..
wAS QUITE HAPPY CAUSE I STUDIED MOST OF THE TOPICS THAT WERE TESTED
wahahaha!!!

but but but ....
TOMORROW IS english!!!!
rEAD DICTIONARY?
mEMORISE COMPO?
/AHH
noooooooo
TYS MORE PRACTICAL
WAHAHAHA




i'm still not feeling well ..........
some people are just pain in the neck ...
ahhhhh..
why must you tell everybody about it
and assume some untrue stuffs
that i told you so clearly?
It just seemed to me that you message me because you were bored
I don't need such care ...
I'm confident to say that if you need, i'll always and surely be there
but if i need, i doubt.
Just count how many times you've dua-ed me ...
I specially made arrangements so that i'm able to meet you...
but, you ended up playing mahjong?
ridiculous.
You're afraid that others may get angry?
how many times you want me to be understanding?
so many times, I said.
and you didn't listen.
you look at the outcome.
you should continue with your life like this and you will end up nowhere.
its no use saying your dream.
I may accept in what you are doing
but i so don't agree.
Wake up.

It has come to a my limit.
enough is enough
I'm not used being taken for granted.
It will come to a limit where i will stop being there.
please learn to be independent and stop depending on guys?
omg ...

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P A P I E R I L Y
Friday, October 17, 200803:42
P A P I E R I L Y

Stickers on the go ... please visit P A P I E R I L Y ...
please support ...

Its only $1.90 per pack ... with 10 stickers in it!!

more stuffs like bottled cranes, stars, will be out in the next series ...
If interested, can order from me ...

We customize everything that can be made out of PAPER ...
Everything are handmade ...

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真实
Tuesday, October 14, 200802:26
I've decided to sing 真实 for make me famous audition.
What about finals?
can i still sing 我们的纪念?
I think i suck at the verse..
its so low ...
not my strength ...
grrrr...

i shall practice a few more times and see how?
bbrrrrrrr

I shall go study now ... =(
sigh ....

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please ignore
Monday, October 13, 200817:11
I just saw my post last night ...
Did I actually post that?
omg ...
I sounded like some stupid bimbo ...
I shall stop using the word bimbo ..
that makes me sound really like one..
nooooooo

please ignore the previous post
wahahaha!
I was probably too bored too tired
of studying ...
hahaha!

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I'm studying ...
04:12
OMG!!!
I'm studying in the middle of the night ...
Solving all the stupid mad sums ...
There are just some stupid maths question that don't need brain but lots of steps.
I want to strangle to person who set this paper ...
wahaha!!!

hmmm ... I'm just being random ...
I'm just thinking what would i look ten years down the road ...
will i be another bimbo down the street clinging onto an ang moh's arm?
Maybe I would be a blonde?
Or will i remain like now?
chirpy, talkative, full of stupid ideas, still doing crazy stuff like macaroni or the cutest umbrella?
you know ... wahahaha
Or will i become super domineering?
serious all the time?
Or will i be the biggest star?
ok.. not biggest lar.. hahahah!
Or will i be a famous blogger?
ok, thats really bimbotic ...
wahaha...

I can't imagine ...
what if the future generation aspires to be a blogger?
or are there bimbos who are alr aspiring it?
probably nobody would aspire to be a writer then ...
thats sad ...
or probably, in future ...
magazines will be featuring blogger's bimbotic life?
ok, thats like total turn off ...
omg ...
imagine if you would to see sections in mag
- BLOGGERS' FASHION
- BLOGGERS' SEX TIPS
- BLOGGERS' whatever ...
/AHH
probably ... no more books on entrepreneurship but
" How to become a successful blogger"
The world is so changing ....
wahahaha!

Sorry, i'm just way too random ....
way too random
way too random
way too random

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Yuan Dian - Auditions
Sunday, October 12, 200823:06
video

Requested by Veracia ...
Please ignore the front part.
The guy went so high because he don't know who is MJ...
wahaha

Er.. FYI .. I was having serious block nose and fever ...

Please give me comments!!!
Especially Ashton ..
& the hyts
wahaha

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New Blogshop
14:39
Ladies out there ...

Your attention please!!!!!

This new online blogshop serves

all your fashion needs

please click and order what you

like!!!



MELODIES
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Audition for Showtime
Thursday, October 09, 200803:21
Today its the day ...

Its SHOWTIME

I took part in a duet with Eunice
We sang Yuan Dian

I thought we did pretty okay
no doubt having sore throat and block nose
at least the judges clapped.
(without clapping for others i heard)
hahaha

But still, I sounded rather nasal because of my block nose
Eunice was a little flat
we're kind of lack of interaction
because she don't want to look at me
hahaha!
and not forgetting Nervous .....
er, actually
not very applicable to me
because I was really not very nervous this time
I thought I should just do my best in what I've practice.

Tanya once said,
When you're on stage, you must think that you are the best singer
Everyone is there to listen to you.
But when you're off the stage, you must think that you're the lousiest
in order to improve yourself to the maximum.
Which is very effective to me in overcoming the stress and nervousness on stage.

So no matter what is the outcome ...
I am still proud of the both of us at least we take the step to take part.
And I've done my best.
Its definitely an experience to sing infront of
ALISON, BRO POH AND WEE LEE
hahaha!

well, will keep you guys posted in the results.
woohoo~

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