I suddenly feel so contented with my fulfilled life! Although my life look so routine but I have great dreams and visions that I'm working on. I ever read a documentary and it said "To feel great satisfaction is not how much materials you can get but is how much lifes you can touch." Yea, when you start to have materials, friends to have fun, you will feel that "wow! this is what I have that others don't have!" You will love it and hope that it will last forever. I don't know about others but at least thats what I felt before.
There was a period when I feel like today. So contented but the only difference was I know today I'm not having any materials, not having any fun that I had, not having that kind of close friends that I had. In fact, I'm not always doing what I want like before because I know what I want may not please God. And I'm constantly wanting to put Him first
in everything I do. Isn't my life so hard? That was what I thought as well but I realized when my love for God, my visions, my dreams keep me going on and thats what it meant by "man without visions shall perish" when you have everything that you wanted but you felt so empty, confused and don't know what you want.
I wasn't be rich but at least I got most of the things I want in the past that I cannot have now but I believe more to come in future. I was happy and contented with my life. I thought that was what I want. For so long, I thought my life will be that way and I hope to stay there forever. although I know it's not going to happen. My life then was at my friend's place everyday after school, town during weekends. That routine for very long time but I still feel so happy and blessed to have such friends. But one day, I start to feel bored. I start to get confused about life. I was so lost then. But I continued with such life. I got myself into trouble and still worrying that my friend might get involve. After that incident, my friend and I somehow got closer and that thought disappeared or hidden somewhere that I don't know. Until when I was brought to face the consequences. For one month, facing 4 walls, no friends, criminal life. I had nothing with me and I turned to God. I started to pray everyday. I was really touched then. After taking Him for granted for so long, He forgave me and love me like never before. Those times, I really felt Him by my side everyday. Telling me nothing will happen. Thank you Lord. My love for You will never fade! And I will fulfil what I had promised you! Hallelujah!